Edgar

There were many homeless people scattered around the town of Clifton, but Edgar was the only one living beneath the aging cottonwood tree on the abandoned property next to the town library. A young boy named Walter Neskin had seen his mother’s simple kindness to the homeless folks in Clifton–handing out change at stoplights or to those who begged for money near the town shopping area–but Walter himself never thought much about them. He had once heard a friend’s dad remark how the homeless could be dangerous, “they collect our hard-earned money so they can dump it on booze!” he’d said. This stuck with Walter.

Walter and his family first saw Edgar when he and his siblings were finishing up helping his mother shop for Thanksgiving dinner that year. The man was peddling for money at the edge of the parking lot of the supermarket. As they pushed the shopping cart up to their rusted old van, Mom took Walter’s sister, Leah, out to buckle her in her carseat. Walter and his brother, Daniel, began to load the groceries into the back. A man politely approached Walter’s mom and asked if she could spare any change for some food. Walter immediately thought of what his friend’s dad had said. He silently wished his mom would politely decline the man’s request. To his dismay, she began looking in the car for change.

As she gathered coins from the ashtray and the only two folded bills in her purse, Walter tried not to stare at the homeless man. The man wore tattered gray clothes with rips in his pants at both knees. Over his shoulders he carried a dark brown blanket—something he undoubtedly needed as the Colorado winter was already underway. His face was not dirty but wrinkled and worn from the sun and wind. He had thick wavy brown hair, and a beard that was a mix of brown and gray which covered his face, save a couple of patches of skin visible beneath where it had never filled in. Walter guessed him to be around fifty years old.

Walter pretended not to pay the man any attention as he continued loading groceries. Still, he worried that the man could be dangerous and so he watched him closely out of the corners of his eyes—looking back and forth from the man to his older brother—hoping Daniel was watching as well. As he watched him, Walter noticed that the man was looking at the ground while he waited on Walter’s mom—but the man’s stare seemed to be looking much further. He appeared heavy and worn out. In seeing his sad eyes looking down, Walter knew he wasn’t dangerous and that it was possible, maybe even likely, that this man was telling the truth and was simply hungry. Walter felt ashamed of himself for judging so swiftly.

Walter’s mom came back with just over four dollars and a bottle of water. Daniel opened a bag of rolls from their groceries and handed two to the man. The man smiled a tired smile, thanked them, and left.

Over the weeks that followed, they saw the man near Central Library each time they drove past. When it came time for the “Neskin Noel Countdown”, an annual collection of Christmas activities the family carried out, Walter knew what he wanted to do. They decided to prepare a meal for the man and take it to him with a new pair of socks and gloves. Despite their own meager financial situation, Mom agreed. Daniel was thrilled.

“Wally, only you would think of something so awesome!” Daniel told him, smiling ear to ear.

Walter smiled sheepishly, knowing he had the idea only after judging the man so harshly the first time they crossed paths. He was sure the man wouldn’t remember them, but Walter could not forget him.

When it came time to deliver it, Mom parked the car and stayed inside with Leah, watching the boys closely. As they approached the man, who was sitting down, Daniel greeted him.

“Hello sir! You mind if we drop you off a little Christmas cheer?” he asked, sounding friendly.

The man looked up, surprised, and initially didn’t respond.

Walter handed him the socks and gloves as Daniel set down two brown lunch bags with hot sandwiches and sides their mom had prepared at home. The man studied Walter and Daniel carefully.

“This is very kind of you boys,” the man finally spoke up, “This is the second time you two have been good to me.”

Walter was surprised to hear the man had remembered.

“Wow, you’ve got a great memory!” Daniel told him.

The man smiled, sighed, and paused.

“You know, I had a son who would have been about your age,” he said, pointing to Daniel.

Walter couldn’t help but ask.

“Would have been?” he asked nervously.

The man looked down for a moment and then back up at Walter.

“Yes, he passed away when he was four years old,” he told them as if the words broke his heart upon leaving his lips.

The man took a deep breath, staring the other direction from where Walter stood—with the same heavy stare Walter remembered from their first interaction.

“We are sorry to hear that. That sounds really hard,” Daniel told him.

The man looked back at Walter and Daniel.

“Thank you for saying that,” he told them, “And thank you for thinking of me during these holidays.”

“You’re welcome, happy to help,” Daniel said, warmly, turning to head back to the car.

Walter didn’t know why, but he felt drawn to know more.

“What was your son’s name?” Walter asked the man.

Daniel turned around, surprised his usually shy brother was speaking up again.

“Aaron. His name was Aaron,” The man replied, choking up as he said it.

Walter could see the man’s eyes were glazed with tears, and he seemed to be making sure not to blink, so they wouldn’t fall.

Walter thought for a moment.

“And what’s your name?” Walter asked him.

The man smiled softly, “It’s Edgar. And you two?”

“I’m Walter,” he told the man.

“And I’m Daniel,” Daniel added.

“I’m happy to meet you boys,” the man told them.

The boys replied that they were happy to meet him too. The three of them were still for a few moments before Walter finally spoke up

“You know, I’ll bet your son really loved you,” he said, nervously.

The man finally closed his eyes, giving the tears permission to roll down his wrinkled cheeks, disappearing into his beard. He swallowed hard, looking down and then back up again.

“Thank you,” Edgar whispered softly, “Thank you very much. I know you boys came here for a reason today…I needed this more than you know.”

They said goodbye and the boys returned to the van. As they drove away, Walter’s mom asked what they had talked about for so long. Daniel told her what they had spoken about. Mom was surprised, particularly in hearing of Walter’s speaking up.

“You two really are good boys, you know that?” Mom told them.

Walter couldn’t help but think about how different he felt seeing Edgar this time around, compared to their first encounter. It would be the last time he saw Edgar in Clifton. Walter promised himself he’d be slower to judge others and more quick to learn their stories–something that would change the way he saw the world.

-hb mercy

(this is an excerpt from a middle grade novel I wrote for my children titled Dear Wally. One day maybe i will publish it so they can have a hardcopy)