Dear Lucille,
I think it’s time you learned your place.
We live in a world that clamors for the attention of little girls like you. Voices will whisper, sing, and shout to you from everywhere—calling for you to fit into this or that mold—telling you a woman’s place has already been decided and to conform. Some voices will be well-intentioned. Some will not. This screaming–this dictating of who you have to be–begins when you are young and will continue all of your life.
Luckily, you are my child, and as your daddy I have the privilege of your attention first. The truth is, your place is an ever-evolving journey that is distinctive to you and which you must discover on your own. But let me tell you a little bit about a woman’s place in this world.
A woman’s place is as remarkable and unique as it has ever been. Her capacity for good—not to mention her potential for success and education, her opportunity for leadership and influence—is limited only by her imagination. I don’t suggest that there will not be individuals, corporations, communities, and others who won’t stand in your way. In fact, there always have been such obstacles for women, and it appears that despite our world’s sluggish progress toward equality, there will yet be many who try and restrict you and your opportunities just because you are female. Can you imagine? Because of your gender?! Ridiculous. Forget them, Lucille. Forget anyone who tries to convince you that you are anything less than extraordinary. This world needs little girls with extraordinary imaginations, who understand that they can truly do anything with hard work, faith, and creativity.
"Forget anyone who tries to convince you that you are anything less than extraordinary."
Each girl in this world is different. You will find that each one has a different place where they find joy and fulfillment. Some find their place to be at the head of a company, smashing their fists through glass ceilings in the professional world. Some find their place in the home, shaping the minds of young children as a leader in their family. Some find it in both. Some want to be the president of their school class. Some want to be the president of their country. Some thirst for contact and connection with others. Some prefer to be alone. Some find stimulation in science, math, engineering, and technology. Others find it in the study of the arts: music, painting, dance, photography, poetry, and more. Some find clarity in the hustle and bustle of a large city. Others need the solitude of nature. And many need a smattering of all these things.
Can you see the splendor and power in this variety? And this only scratches the surface. What I’m saying is this: there is no map of how to find your place. If there is to be a map, it cannot be written by anyone but you.
When you find your place, Lucille, help others along their way. This journey of life is nearly as difficult as it is beautiful. You will find great satisfaction and joy in strengthening others–in being a friend to those who mistakenly believed it when someone told them they were not enough. Find those who are struggling under oppressive forces that are so active in this world. Sadly, gender inequality isn’t the only stain on our world’s unfinished canvas. Racism, xenophobia, homophobia, and hate in all its varieties–disparities in access to education and opportunities–and countless other powers suppress people every day. Look for those who feel they are not enough. Listen and extend your hand. Let them know they will find in you a safe place where vulnerability is simply a stepping stone to growth, poise, and unyielding courage.
Find your place as a beacon for good and for the dignity of humanity. Find your place as a light to those struggling in darkness. You can be a leader in this world in every sense of the word. Humanity yearns for leaders who are committed to treating all people with grace and respect. You can do that. You must do that.
The world wants girls who conform to limits. Don’t. As a daughter of God, your capacity for good is limitless. You are divine and are meant to brighten everything around you. You can change the world.
And remember, I love you.
Daddy
(photo together, daddy daughter beach trip)
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